Naptime: A SAHM's Savior

If you're like me and have small children, then your day goes something like this: morning chaos, pre-nap activity, NAP (cue Hallelujah chorus), post-nap activity, evening chaos, BED (cue wine). Somewhere inside of all that you're lucky if you can run a brush through your hair, pull on clean yoga pants (not because you're going to yoga class ever again - who are you kidding?), or even make it to the bathroom (this is actually required since you don't have time for a UTI). The only way one can possibly survive all this craziness on a daily basis is if the NAP (cue angels singing) occurs.

Therein lies the problem. They know you need this time. I use "they" because the lines are drawn at naptime. It's no longer a happy "us" situation like: "Aren't we having fun at the park? Don't we love MyGym?"

No way. Right after lunch the pronouns change and read like this: "You look tired. I think it's time for you to have a nice nap."

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm pretty lucky. I have a 23 month old and a 9 month old and both are fairly solid sleepers, and I've manipulated it so that the baby has a long nap when his brother does. So I can usually spend my 2 hour chunk of time agonizing over dinner, folding laundry, and wondering if I can get away with running the vacuum cleaner. And I do all of this in the company of Bo and Hope, and Daniel and Jennifer, and Sami and Rafe.

Keep reading here: Patch Blog #1

You're Not Drinking???

So, I went out last Saturday night. Imagine gasps and whoahs filling the silence. It was a legitimate Girls Night Out. We even saw a chick flick - Sarah Jessica Parker's new film I Don't Know How She Does It.

There were five of us out on the town. Well, in all fairness "town" really meant the bar inside of the movie theater. But hey! That's pretty good for five newish moms. That meant that 6 kids were sleeping while 5 semi-competent husbands were snoozing in front of bad weekend tv.

Anyhow, after all of the excitement of meeting up had died down, we headed to the bar and ordered our drinks. I should rephrase. 3 of us ordered legitimate drinks. There was also 1 Sprite and 1 club soda with not a word of explanation.

Ok now. You can't expect to go to GNO and order something like that and not say anything. Because let's be honest, if you are pregnant and you don't want anyone to know yet then you

AVOID situations where alcohol is present.

A few minutes passed before the loud obnoxious one asked what the hell was going on. Yeah, yeah, I'm the loud obnoxious one. And in my defense, these were two friends of mine and I was about to get excited for them and order shots for the rest of us. So I gently asked whether there was any good reason that they were not drinking.

Wait for it.....Nope. No one was pregnant. Just trying.

Ummmmmm......now I don't know about y'all, but I'm just going to ask the obvious question. How in the hell do you get pregnant sober? Especially, when you already have one kid????? I for one like to be half in the bag before we get it on. Then there's no need for any post-coital discussion about how you should have sex more often since it's actually a good time and you never have it because there are already two little ones sleeping downstairs and you're so exhausted most of the time that you'd rather fall asleep clutching your glass of wine rather than each other. But that's just me.

Let's also mention the other elephant in the room. If you get pregnant, then you are going to be an elephant who cannot drink for 9 months so why are you stopping so early.

Really, it just made me sad. Unfortunately, I couldn't order a second drink because the movie was starting. Thankfully, my husband was still unconscious when I got home.